I have been in the Lifestyle (BDSM) for 30 years. Some of those years, I have been active, some, I have not.
Even when I haven’t been active, I have always identified as a submissive. It’s what I am. It’s as much a part of me as the air in my lungs, the blood in my veins and the beat of my heart.
Lately, I have been seeing a new trend of submissives collaring their Doms, this is a first for me and quite mind boggling.
There was a time, not that long ago, in which the lifestyle was exclusive and not inclusive. It was exclusive so as to protect people from a society that would not understand. People could not just attend any event or party that they wanted to unless they had been vouched for by somebody who was established in the community. There were traditions and protocols in place that had come from years of trial and error. Those protocols and traditions worked simply because, they worked. Never would you have found a situation in which a submissive collared there Dom.
Then, the Internet came along and people were able to find out about the lifestyle through research on the Internet. Suddenly, people could find their local dungeons and they could go to parties and they could go to events and they didn’t have to be vouched for and they didn’t have to be vetted before they could attend.
And that’s when the watering down of everything started.
This lifestyle has a rich history, it has a beautiful history. But that history, the protocols, the traditions…they are all being left behind by an entirely new generation of people who have no reverence for the beauty in tradition and protocol. An entire generation of people Who think that just because they’re a little kinky in the bedroom that means that they are engaging in BDSM.
People need to actually research and learn about something that they claim to be a part of. They need to research and learn the history of something that they claim to love. What they don’t need to do is change the very core of BDSM to make it work for them when in reality it’s not meant for them.
Bdsm is not for everyone, no matter how much you want it to be….and that’s ok.